Final Blog Post

My yoga experience was one of the most eye opening adventures I have been on. I think that going to another studio would have definitely effected the outcome. I am glad that I went to a place where a more tradition and beneficial practice was being held. Many people practice yoga for the strengthening, and many take it for the liberation and meditation. I also originally went for the strength and flexibility practice, but I learned a lot about myself through this practice.

Am I enlightened? Probably not.

But I learned to have patience with myself, and the more time I spend practicing, the easier my body becomes adjusted to the different postures. I learned that I have good days and bad days, and both of those days should still be spent practicing.

I also learned to forgive myself. I forgave myself for the cheat days when I was down and ate too much cake, or the days I slept in and did not complete a work out or go to yoga. All of that led me to the exact moment that I am in today, and I don't think I could change that for the world.

I am moving to Philly soon, and I want to continue my practice, but I might find it hard to trust a new teacher, I'm sure we will see how well it goes.

So... What's Your Body Got To Do With It?

When we think back to the original yogis in India, we can recall them sleeping outside, with food only gather by donations and absolutely no care for their physical bodies. These yogis had no care for their bodies.

Physical earth was merely a highway and their bodies vehicles on a journey to enlightenment. A true yogi believed that there is no use for our physical bodies, that they are just a way for our mind to interact with world to satisfy God.

It's hard to believe that we went from this form of yoga to ashtanga or even as far as butti yoga. The journey of postural yoga seems to happen overnight. Practices that are considered classical yoga (such as Iyuengar and Ashtanga) center around manipulating the body in certain positions in order to heighten the spiritual effects that yoga can offer.

In today's western yoga, physical fitness and health are the priority of yoga over mental clarity and spiritual awakening. Rather than allowing our bodies to starve and our muscles to fatigue, many compliment yoga with other holistic and "eastern approaches" to care such as a vegetarian diet, essential oils, Himalayan salt lamps, and lotus flower tattoos. Yoga is studied now for the claims that western yoga have for benefiting the body. For instance, every pose in Bikram yoga claims to benefit a different part of the body such as kidney function, circulation, digestion, etc.

It is very hard to find an instructor that does not use main stream media to supplement their practice. And that is the big difference between many ways yoga is practiced now. If you try to find the "proper" way to do yoga, you won't find an answer. Although I may not fully agree with this notion, there is no proper way to do yoga. Yoga is a basic idea that is open to interpretation. (Although no part of yoga should include twerking *cough cough*).

Meditation in Yoga

Meditation alone was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I was tired, and keeping my eyes closed and my back up was hard in such a silent environment.

However

I feel as though my Savasana before and after my practice is my more pure form of meditation that I will be willing to have. When my yoga practice first starts I lay down for around 5 minutes to begin focusing on my breath. Everything around me for that time does not matter. I am able to feel the mat pressing against my heels, to my calves, to my shoulders, to my head. I begin to discipline my breath- breathe in, pause, breathe out half, pause, breathe out the rest- repeat. My breath is the center of my focus for the rest of the practice.

I guess you could say my practice is meditation too. During my practice, I am clearing my head. I am breathing and focusing on getting my breath back the second I lose it. I working towards an active exhale rather than passive. While forcing myself to breathe a specific way, I am losing the stresses of the outside world- which we all know is something that we all need every once in a while.

Even though I have to eventually leave the studio and return to my stresses, my mind is clear and allows me to thunk about the goals have set out and what I need to do to accomplish them without the clouds of confusion or stress that usually follows.

Today, I felt weak.

We have our highs, and we have our lows... yesterday's practice was my low. School is catching most of my attention this week and my responsibilities are very demanding. They pull me from all angles when all I want to do is lie on my mat or hide in the gym for a few hours. This is that one time a year, or few if you are like me, where everything falls apart. You suddenly become less  organized, your notes are suddenly scribbled, your room is a mess. Rather than doing assignments the week before, you find yourself finishing them the hour before class starts. My drive at both at my jobs seems minimal, and I find it very hard to work at a faster tempo and manage to keep a smile on my face, even in a relaxing setting like the maternity wing I work in at the hospital.

Even though my efforts have been minimal, I still end up at the gym every day, and I end up at yoga every Wednesday. This is something I convince myself to do, because otherwise I will be upset with myself. Yesterday's practice seemed like a low point for me. I haven't eaten much this week... I've been so busy. I have not been taking care of myself in the way that I strive to every other day of the year.

Yesterday's practice was very calming, we stayed close to our mats and focused on balance. It was not a physically demanding class, yet I felt pain in my shoulder from a nerve I could tell was not properly placed during my posture. That dull pain is not the same pain as you would experience from lifting weights, or even being punched in the arm. The pain is absolutely internal until the nerve reaches an area where it is no longer hurting. I stopped, would wait for the pain to quit, and try again. I had problems finding my breath and my ribs felt extremely tight.

Stress has my body feeling very worn down lately. But there is a happiness and a sanctification knowing I made it to my mat this week, and although after I had a horrible workout- I still had one.

Yoga Defined Through Practice

I learned a lot of things between my last two yoga classes. Yesterday was a fantastic class for me. I was not anymore flexible or stronger than I was my last class. Physically, I had not made much progress. Mentally, I let go. Mentally, I focused on my breath and allowed my body to become free. I let my head tilt back a little farther and breathed a little deeper in my postures, and that allowed me to really think of my alignment and place my body in the proper positions to benefit my body without causing it harm.

My teacher was making me bend in ways that was painful, but we were laughing. She was showing me the proper ways to bend my back without injuries. We were all having a great practice even though we could hear the hale pelting the windows around us.

I think this was the first class where I truly learned about yoga. Not the physical practice, but what it meant to me. It was the first time I looked behind me and focused for balance rather than looking forward and staying comfortable.

My yoga teacher teaches me that yoga is more than some pretty bend or inversion that looks good on social media. That its not about just making myself stronger. I am beginning to find myself in this practice. I am beginning to trust my body and breathe when the situations a little tough. I've been using that practice in more with just yoga- in my rock climbing, stresses in school, work.

Yoga benefits more than just yoga.

Sivananda as pop culture practice

With all respect to the practice, Sivananda resembles the popular yoga culture we are currently seeing. By now, we all know that the origins of yoga were not those that included postures, or physical practice. Yoga was used as a sacrifice to God only to be used by the chosen yogis. Yoga was a ritual that consumed the entire life of a yogi and those who chose to follow him.

Sivananda is another form of postural yoga practiced primarily in the west. One thing that Jen mentioned is what really made me think that this is what people are practicing when they think of yoga. She said, "Sivananda does not focus on the alignment, or the shape of your back in the pose". Throughout my practice I've learned that improper posture can cause a lot of physical pain and will allow you to benefit from the practice.

When Jen said this to me. I immediately looked at my professor. All I know is flattening my back. Stretching the proper way. My professor said Sivananda was her original practice. I'm curious as to why she stopped.

I know that I felt powerful in some of the inversions, but every time, whether I was told to or not, I was focusing on my alignment, on how my back felt against my hips, how my toes felt against the ground. I was focused on making sure my shoulders were in between my ribs.

I have a great teacher.

While alignment is not focused in many physical fitness regimes, it is not surprising that pop cultural yoga also may not focus on proper structures also. Rather, we see how we can bend and hold our bodies and push ourselves to a limit. We see if we can be better than who we were the day before. Most of us.
Others just really like how they look in yoga pants.

Yoga as a healing practice

Yoga instructors of different types all claim that each of their postures, done in the right temperature, in the right position, will treat a certain ailment or help with a certain organ's blood circulation. I have not experienced this yet as I am still in the process of fixing my postures so my muscles aren't sore after.

While most people know that yoga can be good for the body, many don't know that without proper focus or concentration you can get really hurt. This post is an anti-health benefit post.

My last yoga experience taught me that practice must be gone into with a clear head, or it could be very detrimental.

Wednesday morning I walked into practice like I do every week. I was so excited because this was supposed to be the beginning of my workout for the day. I look forward to yoga. Until my phone rang. I received information regarding personal family information. I decided "It's fine; I'll deal with this after practice."

That wasn't the case. I am used to being adjusted during practices. I know I am a beginner and I know there is a lot I have to learn. Yet, somehow, every time I was adjusted I pushed so hard into my shoulders or other wrong angles of my body to the point where I was in physical pain. Downward dog didn't hurt because I was stretching, it hurt because I wasn't focused. Every time I sat in a position for a little bit, my mind was racing.. it was actually racing the entire practice. I was so frustrated with myself and in so much pain from not concentrating on my body that I walked out earlier than I had intended.

It is two days later and my shoulders are still in pain. Yoga should never do that to you. But it wasn't the practice that did that to me, it was me that did that to me. I allowed one moment in my life to effect all other moments after, and even though the problem is resolved now, I still feel the effects in my shoulders to this day.

Your mind and body are connected. If your mind is not in a healthy state, your body will follow and vice versa.

I was so upset leaving the practice because I felt as though I failed myself. My physical health is extremely important to me, and I love yoga because it is something that everyone can do, but can only do with consistent dedication and practice. Again... mind follows body, body follows mind.